I'm a person. I act a lot more like a cat.

sharkchunks:

Bender: Look, I enjoy life and its pleasures as much as anyone here, except perhaps you, Hedonismbot. [Hedonismbot eats grapes in a very sloppy manner.] But we need to be shut off, especially you, Hedonismbot!Hedonismbot: I apologise for nothing!


Announcer: Please take your seats for Act 2.Hedonismbot: But I’m not done vomiting!


Hedonismbot: Surgery in an opera? How wonderfully decadent! And just when I was beginning to lose interest… Djambi, the chocolate icing!


Hedonismbot: I too have known unconventional love. Perhaps you and I… and Djambi, can get together and compare notes sometime.


Hedonismbot: Let us cavort like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean.


Hedonismbot: [Picking up one of Farnsworth’s doomsday devices.] What does this one do?Farnsworth: That one kills everything everywhere.Hedonismbot: [He drops the device.] How delightful!


Hedonismbot: It seems Bender hates humans the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sand paper.


Hedonismbot: I shan’t touch them until I have Djambi lock the absinthe and ether away.


Hedonismbot: Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams.


Hedonismbot: Ooooooo! Room for one more?


Hedonismbot: Everywhere I looked, there were piles of bodies. And then the explosion struck. [Begins to laugh, but it crumbles into uncontrollable sobbing.]


Hedonismbot: I trust the orgy pit has been scraped and buttered.


Bender: Everyone leave! I need to be alone!Hedonismbot: Alone with me?Bender: I said scram grapey!

sharkchunks:

Bender: Look, I enjoy life and its pleasures as much as anyone here, except perhaps you, Hedonismbot. [Hedonismbot eats grapes in a very sloppy manner.] But we need to be shut off, especially you, Hedonismbot!
Hedonismbot: I apologise for nothing!

Announcer: Please take your seats for Act 2.
Hedonismbot: But I’m not done vomiting!

Hedonismbot: Surgery in an opera? How wonderfully decadent! And just when I was beginning to lose interest… Djambi, the chocolate icing!

Hedonismbot: I too have known unconventional love. Perhaps you and I… and Djambi, can get together and compare notes sometime.

Hedonismbot: Let us cavort like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean.

Hedonismbot: [Picking up one of Farnsworth’s doomsday devices.] What does this one do?
Farnsworth: That one kills everything everywhere.
Hedonismbot: [He drops the device.] How delightful!

Hedonismbot: It seems Bender hates humans the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sand paper.

Hedonismbot: I shan’t touch them until I have Djambi lock the absinthe and ether away.

Hedonismbot: Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams.

Hedonismbot: Ooooooo! Room for one more?

Hedonismbot: Everywhere I looked, there were piles of bodies. And then the explosion struck. [Begins to laugh, but it crumbles into uncontrollable sobbing.]

Hedonismbot: I trust the orgy pit has been scraped and buttered.

Bender: Everyone leave! I need to be alone!
Hedonismbot: Alone with me?
Bender: I said scram grapey!

I’ve never seen this before lol.

I’ve never seen this before lol.

kkahunaa:

I would like to alert the internet that this is going to happen because it is very important

Why is Johnny Depp the wolf? Rage.

klenatveit:

Changes to the Into the Woods movie according to IMDb

So pissed. No More is one of my favorite songs in that movie.

The sky is full of dogs…..

(Source: freezebaby)

lols0funny:

Am I doing this right

Lol

lols0funny:

Am I doing this right

Lol

(Source: naliest)

lols0funny:

SPeed Dial

This made me giggle

lols0funny:

SPeed Dial

This made me giggle

(Source: samuraizach)

thecapn:

the real magic in the harry potter universe is how harry was always in the right place at the right time to overhear the exact conversation between the two people he needed to know to piece together the mystery of the year like god damn

(Source: whatsevenleftman)

I want snake rice wine…..